Birthdays always make me reflective, but this one feels especially significant. Ten years ago, I thought I had so much figured out. I thought my career would follow a straight line. I thought love was either “the one” or nothing. I thought I had to move fast and check the boxes before 30, as if life slowed down after that.
Now, I see how wrong (and how right) I was. The last decade has been equal parts heartbreak and joy, unexpected pivots and surprising wins. It hasn’t looked the way I thought it would. In many ways, it’s been harder. But it’s also been better, richer, and more meaningful than anything I could have planned.
So here are 37 lessons I’ve learned by 37. Things I wish I could go back and tell my 20-something self:
1. Your career is not a ladder.
It’s a jungle gym. Sometimes you climb, sometimes you swing sideways, sometimes you leap into a whole new space. The moves that felt risky (like starting my own company) ended up shaping me the most.
2. Friendships don’t survive on autopilot.
They need tending. Send the text. Buy the flight. Celebrate their wins. That’s how decades of friendship are built.
3. Ask your parents more questions.
About their childhood, their mistakes, how they fell in love. One day, those answers will matter more than you realize.
4. Nobody really knows what they’re doing.
The most confident people are usually making it up too. The difference is, they trust themselves enough to try.
5. Protect your mornings.
The first half-hour of your day shapes everything else. Choose carefully.
6. Celebrate small victories.
Not just the big promotions or anniversaries. The good lab results, the baby finally sleeping, the project delivered on time. Those moments deserve champagne too.
7. Love is both chance and choice.
You can’t control who crosses your path, but you can choose to keep showing up for them every day.
8. Boundaries are not rejection.
They’re clarity. Saying no clears space for better yeses.
9. Invest in yourself early.
Financially, emotionally, physically. The choices you make in your 20s compound in your 30s.
10. Outgrowing people is natural.
It doesn’t erase the role they played. You can be grateful and still move forward.
11. Jealousy is a compass.
Instead of running from it, notice what it’s pointing to. Often it reveals what you want most.
12. Sleep is underrated.
It fuels everything: your health, your mood, your decisions. Hustle culture was lying.
13. Read books, not just feeds.
Scrolling distracts. Reading deepens. Books make you more empathetic and imaginative.
14. You can survive almost anything.
Breakups, rejections, losses. What feels like an ending is often just the doorway to a new chapter.
15. Confidence is evidence.
It’s not a pep talk; it’s the quiet proof of keeping promises to yourself.
16. Busy doesn’t equal important.
A packed calendar can still be empty of meaning. Protect your time.
17. Photograph the ordinary.
Messy kitchens, Sunday mornings, everyday walks. Those are the ones that will ache with nostalgia later.
18. Curiosity expands your life.
Ask more questions. Try new things.
19. Move your body for your brain.
The physical changes are temporary. The mental clarity is lasting.
20. Gratitude is perspective in practice.
Write it, say it, notice it. It rewires how you see the world.
21. Therapy is not a last resort.
It’s maintenance. Like brushing your teeth, just for your heart and mind.
22. There is no “perfect time.”
Waiting for certainty means you’ll never start. Do it anyway.
23. Your kids become your mirror.
They notice how you move through the world more than what you say. The values you live become the blueprint they carry.
24. You are not behind.
Even if Instagram tries to convince you otherwise.
25. Marry the person who makes errands fun.
Because most of life is errands.
26. Failure is data.
Not definition. Learn from it, adjust, keep moving.
27. Your 20s are for collecting.
Jobs, experiences, friends. Your 30s are for editing: keeping what matters, letting go of what doesn’t.
28. Walk more.
It clears your head, sparks ideas, and resets your mood.
29. Learn one great meal.
It doesn’t have to be fancy, but having a signature dish is its own kind of love language.
30. Nobody is scrutinizing you the way you think.
They’re too busy worrying about themselves.
31. Time is your most valuable currency.
Spend it on people and places that make you feel alive.
32. You can love your kids and your career.
It’s not either/or. It’s both/and.
33. Peace is a gift.
Don’t confuse it with boredom.
34. Your body will change.
And that’s not a flaw; it’s a record of your life.
35. Ask for help.
It’s not weakness, it’s connection.
36. Say “I love you” often.
Even if it feels awkward. People need to hear it.
37. Life doesn’t get easier.
But you get stronger, wiser, softer. That’s the beauty of getting older.
Ten years ago I thought life was a sprint. Now I know it’s a long walk, and the joy is in the company, the scenery, and the lessons picked up along the way.
